i can't help feeling awkward,
i can't stop thinking,
i can't pretend nothing's wrong,
i can't speak up for myself,
i don't know what's wrong, but it is not right either.

~ignore me as i pass you by unnoticed

Labels: fill-in-the-blanks

i don't know what, but something seems to be wrong somewhere.
people i've known before seem to be really far away,
&i just don't even feel them anymore.
even with the closest ones, i'm not sure.
maybe they are just pretending.
&everything that i ever wanted seems pointless these days.
after everything i go through i could see.
that i wasn't the right one in the first place.
void of feelings.
everything was my fault in the first place.
not being there for them when i was suppose to.
was always my fault.
all i'm asking for is someone to save me.
or i'll just save myself from hurting them in any way.

~do they notice that i'm forgotten?

Labels: the-mask-i-wore-became-me

yes!
its been quite a while since i typed anything in here.
nothing really much to update.
i kinda miss brunei &i'm not sure why.

oh wells.
everything's going on fine.
the only thing is i find myself lacking sleep.
extremely tired but still working my ass off so as to not disappoint anybody.
just wanna get everything through fast until the 15 of june.
this is taking a toll on me.
i can't seem to absorb anymore damaged done.
losing my very own support from all sides.
&i dunno who's who anymore.

sometimes people really make impact of who you turn out to be,
when actually its a matter of choices you make.
even the person you thought cared was just pretending for the sake of pity.
it just goes to show how pathetic i am.
am i the one who has not changed,
or have i changed too much to the point beyond my own recognition?

~lead by false pretenses

Labels: its-not-like-how-it-use-to-be

by the time you read this post,
i already on my way to Brunei.
ohwells,
not that excited to go but kinda nervous.
i guess the one week break was just to short.
i wish could be dragged longer before i fly.
at the very least i get to spend time with my family.
also get to meet up and hang out with amalina, ridaudin &khai(though it was unplanned).
&here i wonder where did my bestfriend go?
she just too busy and i cant seem to catch up with her anymore.
and i cant keep on waiting for her.
i leave it to how she decide it to be.
things revolving around her seem to be more important now,
than things that is going on outside.
never mind about that.
im gonna miss all the april birthdays due to this trip.
including my mum's &sister's.
so sorry that i can't be there to celebrate.
well,
nothing much for me to say.
&its kinda pointless.
who care to read this shit nowadays.

to all the upcoming april birthday babies.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU!

~speaking for the sake of concern

Labels: it-will-never-end